It’s on at the present time, at this wonderful, joyous time of 12 months, that we must always all take a second to say,
And to seize the Festivus spirit, we erect [heh] our Festivus pole [hehehe] – a naked aluminum rod [wink] – as a result of everyone knows how distracting tinsel will be.
“Yo, Tinsel, transfer it! You are blocking our vacation spirit!”
Then we are going to dine on meatloaf dinner:
“I’d do something for ‘loaf…
however I will not eat that.”
Adopted by cake coated with M&Ms:
“And what’s the DEAL with airline meals?”
As soon as the Pepto Bismol has settled, Festivus can formally start with the Airing of Grievances:
That is after we gripe about all of the methods our household, mates, and the world typically has disenchanted us over the previous 12 months.
For sure, sarcasm is inspired.
As soon as everyone seems to be basking within the heat glow of a directionless, murderous rage, it is time for the Feats of Energy. Custom states that Festivus is not over till the pinnacle of the home is pinned in a wrestling match, however you may often disarm Grandma fairly shortly:
On second thought, it seems to be like Grandma Dani’s been understanding.
Oh, and I practically forgot! Be looking out right now for Festivus miracles. As a result of belief me, they’re in all places.
Congrats, Grandma!
Due to Lisa N., Rhiannon, Jola S., Marcus J., Dianne M., Lauren M., Bernadett, & JM, who’ve been simply terrible to me this previous 12 months, AWFUL, I inform you, and do they thank me for the snarky commentary? NoooOOOOo. However that is okay, as a result of I do not want thanks, or love, or primary human consideration, as a result of I… [lip wobble] … I AM STRONG.
Now stop crying and go battle your grandmother.
*****
And from my different weblog, Epbot:
